Lately, there’s been a lot of talk about introverts and extroverts on my social networks and it got me thinking- what would my life be like if my hubs was an introvert? Now, I can’t even imagine this scenario, since he’s as extroverted as they come, but it did get me thinking about all the ways his extroverted personality has helped me to grow as an introvert.
He’s helped me become more socially aware.
I’m no psychologist, so really this could just be a me thing and not necessarily an introvert thing, but by hubs has majorly helped me to become more socially aware of how I am coming across to other people. Something you should know about me- I absolutely love people, but I am also very intuitive. Sometimes this combination can cause me to seem rude or aloof, when in reality I’m simply trying not to invade other people’s comfort zones. For instance, I’m a hugger- and a LOT of people are NOT, so I may seem awkward or unfriendly when meeting people for the first time.
My husband has gently and lovingly pointed this out to me over the years- moments like, “You didn’t say hi to Jessica.” When I was like, “who the heck is Jessica!?” I’ve learned to start thinking outside of myself and to think on how my actions might be influencing or affecting the people I come into contact with on the daily. It might take more energy, but it has been so rewarding. For a people lover like me- this new sense of awareness has helped me to connect with people on a deeper level, which is what my introverted self loves to do.
He’s helped me become a better communicator.
If there’s one thing a healthy marriage requires, it’s communication. Men and women cannot read each other’s minds, even if we do complete each other’s sentences on the regular. Now add extroverts and introverts into the mix and things can get really tricky. The most important thing I’ve learned being married to an extrovert, is to be very vocal about my needs.
As an introvert, I internally process a lot and quite honestly don’t process traumatic emotions right away. So it can be months later when I finally find the time to process through something that has deeply impacted me. Choosing to share my internal process with my hubs has become a vital part of maintaining an intimate connection within our marriage. He may not always understand the way I do things, but he is always willing to listen and love me through it.
Marriage to an extrovert can be fun!
So, if you married an extrovert- don’t worry. Marriage can be really fun when you choose to think outside of yourself and be brave in the way you communicate with your spouse. Just make sure you both work towards a balance of meeting each other’s needs. I love when my hubs has a guys night, especially if we have a sitter- that means me time.
It also helps when I simply say, “hey, I would love some time alone to recharge,” He gets me, even when he doesn’t get me. He loves me through our differences and chooses to protect our connection by allowing me the time I need. Choose to be willing to work on loving each other, whether you’re both introverts or extroverts or complete opposites like me and my hubs and you’ll be set up for a long & healthy marriage.
Do you communicate well with your spouse? Do you let your differences help your relationship to grow? Let’s talk about it!
