To the mom that feels like she’s doing it all wrong; I see you. I know you. I am you.
But I want you to know, you’re not doing anything wrong. You’re not missing out in life because you had babies too young. You’re not missing out in life because you had babies too late. You’re not missing out in life because you don’t have babies yet. There is not a right or wrong timeline for your life. There is no magical milestone that will suddenly bring all the joy you thought you were missing out on. Maternal anxiety does not have to run your life. So take it easy, you’re not doing anything wrong, mama.
You’re not a bad mother for going back to work. You’re not a bad mother or wife for staying home with your kids. You’re not a bad mom because you struggle with maternal anxiety. You’re not missing out on their childhood because you’re working to give them the life you think they deserve. You’re not less than for making less or no income compared to your partner because you chose to stay home with your babies. So take a deep breath, you’re not doing anything wrong, mama.
You’re not a lazy mom because your body didn’t “bounce back.” You’re not neglecting your kids because you choose to workout. You’re not letting yourself go because you haven’t lost the baby weight. You’re not self-centered for going to the gym. Everyone has a different healing journey and no comparison will bring more joy to your life, not even comparison to yourself in another time frame or season of life. So close your eyes and smile, you’re not doing anything wrong, mama.
You’re not a crazy mom for wanting time alone, but missing your baby(s) while you’re gone. You’re not a hateful mom for experiencing burnout, rage, anxiety or depression postpartum.You’re not a weak mom for needing to ask for help. You’re not selfish for hiding from your kids just to get a solitary moment of peace. You’re not unloving for missing your old life. So let go of the shame, you’re not doing anything wrong, mama.
You’re not a bad wife for being touched out at the end of the day. You’re not lazy for having a messy house. You’re not undeserving of respect because you left the dishes till tomorrow. You’re not less of a person because you chose to binge watch netflix. You’re not failing because you feel like you can’t keep up. So stop berating yourself, you’re not doing anything wrong, mama.
You’re not less of an adult for not owning your home or having one solid career job. You’re not inadequate or incompetent because you’ve changed your major, your profession and relationships. You’re not failing, you’re living. Nobody has overcome the things you’ve faced in this lifetime, except for you. Your mental health struggles are valid. So pat yourself on the back, you’re not doing anything wrong, mama.
You’re not damaging your kids because you send them to public school. You’re not a bad mom for hating homeschooling. Your kids aren’t missing out because you choose to homeschool them. You’re not unworthy of love because you sometimes hate being a mom. You’re kids aren’t missing out because you can’t afford to buy them expensive things. You’re not causing suffering to people around you by taking up space. So stand up tall, you’re not doing anything wrong, mama.
So, mama, it’s time to take back your mindset, your body, your motherhood. You’re the only one who can do it. Even people with the best intentions can’t make it happen for you. You’ve gotta choose to fight. Fight for more love, fight for more joy, fight the anxiety, fight for peace. Only you can prioritize your physical and mental health. Only you can choose a positive mindset. Only you can break through the barriers you’re facing. Only you can ask for help. Only you can choose to love yourself harder. Only you.
But, here’s a little secret. You can. You CAN do it. You can take back your mindset, your body, your motherhood. You CAN share your truth. You CAN ask for help. You CAN fight to love yourself, to love your family, to love your life. You CAN make changes to break through the barriers that are holding you back from where you want to be. You can.
